Let’s Get This Over With

8 a.m. flagellation meeting today, which means I got up at 5:30, did a little Dwight Schrute action in the car, and am now caffeining up in preparation for a potential masacre.  I.  Am.  Ready.


You Want More Counterspace? I’ll Give You More Counterspace.

When house-hunting a year ago, hubs and I were lucky enough to find a house with a recently renovated kitchen, which, Thank God, because we looked at lots of houses with 80’s style laminate countertops and pink linoleum flooring and appliances from before we were born.  We really lucked out.

That being said, we kind of suck at staying organized in the kitchen, and even though it is a generously sized room, we always feel like we are lacking in counterspace.  Maybe it’s because of the unnecessary stuff we have stored on the counters:

It’s great having a TV in the kitchen because we don’t have an open floorplan, and that way I can cook and be entertained.  Hypothetically.  I haven’t actually done this yet.  And you know mama loves her some rosé, so the wine collection is a must.  Our solution was this little baby:

A combination TV stand and wine cabinet in one.  Really it’s just a wine cabinet.  But we put it in a corner of the kitchen, which freed up loads of counterspace, and still allows me to see the TV while cooking imaginary meals for our imaginary family.  Also, I feel really fancy having a wine cabinet now.  Holla!

It took me 2 hours to build, because even though it’s from Target (we got it on super duper sale, because I’m super duper cheap), it came in all 1,000 individual pieces.  It was more elaborate than any Ikea furniture I’ve ever had to assemble, and I have assembeld A LOT of Ikea furniture in my day, but the quality of this piece is much nicer, probably.  And, I didn’t realize until I was almost done putting it together, that hubs was still upstairs, in bed, watching College Gameday.  Jerkface.

Here it is fully loaded:

I don’t have an after of the counter, because it’s the weekend and there are hella dirty dishes in there, but it does free up quite a bit of space.  I had to explicitly tell hubs that this new, extra free space was NOT allocated to his pint glasses.  I feel an epic battle brewing.

Lady Gaga Was Not In Atlanta, Probably

Access Atlanta has a super weird story today about Lady Gaga showing up at a ping pong bar called Church (Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room & Ping Pong Emporium) in the Old Fourth Ward on Monday night.  She was accompanied by cast members from The Vampire Diaries, and tried to buy a Virgin Mary statue from behind the bar…WTF?

Full story here.

Church is listed on Yelp.com as having a “hipster-like atmosphere”, cheap food, and jukebox music.  Of course it does.  All signs point to me not being cool enough to go there.  So I probably won’t.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Church planted this story, and it can’t possibly be true.  Imaginative, yes, but it wreaks of a PR stunt.  Right?  Things like this don’t happen in Atlanta, probably.  But if it is true, then I wish I was cool enough to have been there to see it first-hand.

On second thought, if this was a bogus story planted by a hipster bar, they probably would’ve said that The Arctic Monkeys tried to buy a metaphor while accompanied by the cast of nothing because TV is so 2005.  Amiright?

I May Start Watching Gossip Girl Again

When I was in high school, I worked at a bookstore, which was pretty much the best job ever.  I came to the interview prepared to discuss my love of the classics, like Grapes of Wrath (true) and Anna Karenina (not even close to true).  But when I saw that the owner of the bookstore was reading The National Enquirer, I figured I just needed to show that I was competent enough to operate the cash register and alphabetize books.  And I was hired.

While employed at said bookstore, I read the Gossip Girl books.  I’m not really sure why, but I used that fact as an excuse to watch the TV show when it first came out a few years ago.  I’ll admit that I stuck through it the first two seasons, and then I gave up, because watching it made me feel really immature.  I haven’t really been into it since.  But then today I saw this:

And now I might have to start watching it again.  If only for the scruffy puppy.  I love me some scruffy puppies.

Emmys Favorite Moment: Funny Ladies Rule

This moment from Sunday night’s Emmy Awards was my favorite by far.  When announcing the nominees for lead actress in a comedy, Amy Poehler, Melissa McCarthy, Martha Plimpton, Tina Fey, Edie Falco, and Laura Linney all rush the stage with hilarious enthusiasm, and wait for the winner to be announced, beauty-pageant-style.  I was laughing so hard at Amy Poehler that I started to cry.  And it just kept getting better.  Shout out to Sookie (from Gilmore Girls, not True Blood) for winning!  GG lives on.

Pilot Review: Ringer, aka I Want Buffy Back

Ringer is the new CW show starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as twins, one who is a gritty drug-using ex-stripper and the other a bitchy Manhattan socialite.  I’m going to recap the Pilot episode for anybody who cares.  You’ll know by the end of this post if I intend to keep watching this show or not.  I was a rabid Buffy fan, so I hope this show lives up to SMG’s standards.  Here goes nothing!

*SPOILERS BELOW, obviously.  This is a recap after all.*

Creepy warehouse, preppy SMG creeping around.  Everybody who had that boombox in the 90’s knows that if she’d really bumped into it like that, she would’ve popped open the CD player, not turned it on.

SMG says she is Bridget as if she’s not sure which twin she’s currently playing.  Requisite I can’t handle my family joke, har har har!  Oooh hot AA sponsor.  She looks strung out, not tired.  They flirt over cookies.

Double Nickel Motel.  That’s not obvious at all.  Bridget is a witness to a crime, and Ageless Richard Alpert is going to protect her.  Oh!  Stripper dismemberment murder trial.  I take it Bridget was a stripper then?  Her bodyguard is a tad bit lurky-creepy.  Oh snap, Bridget is gone and her bodyguard is tied up in the bathroom.

Clean cut SMG hangs at a local bar.  Is it Siobhan?  That cop seriously freaked the eff out when the fancy twin forgot her wallet.  Sisters see each other for the first time in 6 years at a bus stop.  Not cliché at all.  Fancy contemporary house on the beach, lots of Parent Trap twinsies going on.  Fancy sis’s husband doesn’t know about the bad twin.  That’s 2 Lost references now.  Bridget is apologizing for *something* to do with *someone* named Sean.  If this is anything like Lost, we’ll find out in another 6 years.

Bridget and her sponsor were *close* but not that close because he doesn’t know where she is.  They need her to testify as the sole witness to a murder or the stripper killer goes free.

WORST.  EFFECTS.  EVER.  I realize it’s probably hard to replicate a motorboat ride, but this is awesomely bad.  Bridget used to strip but now she waitresses.  To put herself through college, probably.  All of a sudden Bridget is waking up alone in said boat.  That was fast.  We’re 10 minutes in and Siobhan already went overboard.

Commercial #1!

Wide shot of the Empire State Building, fancy sister gets back from the Hamptons.  Which sister is it?  I’m already confused, which doesn’t bode well.  It takes a special kind of douche to see a giant painting of their face every time they walk in the door.  The guy from Fantastic Four is British?  That’s unexpected.  Bridget calls hot sponsor and tells him that Siobhan committed suicide and she took her place.  She’s the only one who knows, except for hot sponsor now.  She hangs up when Sexy Stranger appears on the street, she gets in bed, hubby looks uber confused.

If were pretending to be your twin who just killed herself, wouldn’t you cancel all of your appointments, so as to avoid awkward IS THAT BLOSSOM?!  No.  Never mind.  Alt-Blossom thinks her husband is having an affair…is her husband Sexy Stranger?

Opera, more bad graphics, more SS lurking around.  Briobhan orders water from her now doting husband, and SS is getting uber obvious.  SS ambush-kisses her.

Commercial #2!

SS and Briobhan have a super awkward conversation about how they’ve been affairing forever and haven’t seen each other in a week.  SS wants to see her again soon and she’s trying to get out of it but she sucks at it.  Uncomfortableness for everyone.

Husband and wife aren’t “cool,” he was pretending to love her for appearance’s sake.  Hubby is playing by Siobhan’s rules.  Briobhan wants to quit the games and be nice for real.  Hubs asks her who she is.  DUN DUN DUN.  Hubs loves the new relaxed Siobhan but he doesn’t believe that it’s real.  Burrrrrn.

According to the picture in the jewelry box, Mystery Sean is Siobhan’s presumed son.  I’m assuming Bridget accidentally killed him?  Now…Briobhan is at AA?  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?

Briobhan comes home to teenage sex, I’m guessing that’s her stepdaughter because kid HATES Briobhan, something about boarding school…girl is super bitchy on the house phone (house phone?) when it rings.  She buzzes someone in.  IT’S RICHARD ALPERT!  Score.

Commercial #3.

Alpert asks Briobhan if she’s ever been to Wyoming, clearly he thinks she’s Siobhan.  They go to the park and talk.  Briobhan doesn’t tell her that she’s…well, Bridget.

Creepy stripper murderer is not doing a very good job of creeping while watching hot sponsor.

Alt-Blossom tells Briobhan that she doesn’t know who her husband is creeping around with.  Lots of creeping on this show.  Briobhan then goes to meet SS, but just to talk, to try to talk him out of the affair they’ve been having.

Hubs is yelling at stepdaughter for something.  She leaves.  Briobhan gets a call from a doctor that tells her she’s 4 weeks preggo, presumably with SS’s baby.  Probably not her husband’s.  Whoops.

Commercial #4!  Or maybe 5?  I might have forgotten one.  Sidenote, I’d rather be watching Nikita.

The baby IS Sexy Stranger’s.  He wants Briobhan to leave hubs for him, or they’re over.  She says they’re over.

Stepdaughter got kicked out of boarding school for coke.  If she got kicked out for coke…then why didn’t they confiscate the coke?  Briobhan says stepdaughter can’t stay there, because obvs, she has some sweet drugs and Bridget has no willpower.

Alt-Blossom asks Briobhan to meet her at the loft because she knows who SS is having the affair with.  And now homeslice is creeping around, ready to kill Briobhan, and we’re back to the opening scene.  Fight ensues, you have the wrong girl, but who is he looking for?  Briobhan says she’s not Bridget and shoots homeslice.  But he had a picture of Siobhan in his pocket.  So Gemma tried to get Siobhan killed.

PAN TO REAL SIOBHAN.  She wanted Bridget killed?  And wanted to make it look like SHE’D been killed?  But Siobhan doesn’t know that Bridget is a wanted woman, so if fake Siobhan/real Bridget is dead then everyone will think that real Siobhan is real Bridget, who is currently missing…my brain hurts.

I’m still undecided.  This would probably be less confusing if I hadn’t also watched the pilot for ABC Family’s The Lying Game, which is pretty much the same show set in high school.  If you watched it, what did you think of Ringer?

Fun Fact Friday: What Goes Around…Not About Britney

One of my favorite songs to run to (let’s be honest, it’s more like wogging) is Justin Timberlake’s classic “What Goes Around…”  It is the perfect running beat.  If you set the treadmill to 4.5 mph.  Which I realize is slow for most people, but my legs are short and I’m not exactly Prefontaine over here.  Anyway, some interesting history on this song:

Everyone thinks that Justin is singing about Britney, like he was in “Cry Me a River” (which has an awesome video, b-t-dubs.  This song, not so much).  NOT.  TRUE.  He is singing about Elisha Cuthbert, of 24/Girl Next Door fame.

Elisha didn’t screw over JT, she screwed over his best friend.  So he wrote a badass song about her and made everyone think she was trash.  But does this change American men’s opinion of her?  Absolutely not.  If I’ve learned anything from my husband’s BFF Greg, it’s that Elisha Cuthbert can do no wrong.

First, she fulfilled every man’s fantasy by moving in next door to a geek, making him super popular, and then probably not snexing with him.  It’s been a few years, there are some holes in my memory regarding the plot of this movie.

Then she played Jack Bauer’s daughter on 24, and let’s be honest, Jack Bauer is this generation’s McGuyver (not McGovern, but thanks anyway, autocorrect!), and is completely infallible in the eyes of man.  So in this case, Elisha is popular by association.

Now she’s in one of my favorite new shows, Happy Endings, and she does an unexpectedly awesome job at comedy.  I was not expecting this.  But hubs and I got hooked on H.E. last Spring and can’t get enough of it.  Sometimes when our friends come over, we tie them up and force them get them a beer and ask if they would like to watch it with us.  Works every time.

Bonus!  She was also in Old School.  Learn something new every day.