“Worrying is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.”
“Unattended Children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.”
There’s a story floating around today about how John Mayer is still devastated that he lost Jennifer Aniston, “the one that got away”, two and a half years ago. But the best part of the blurb is when they say that John Mayer is “now spending his time gorging on pizza bites, Hot Pockets and Smucker’s Uncrustables.”
Nobody gorges themselves on Smucker’s Uncrustables…please tell me I’m right on this one.
*Try not to be jealous of my kick-ass MSPaint skills
The pizza bites, well, I totally understand that. When I relocated for work back in 2007 to a city where I would live alone, not know a soul, and hide in my apartment every time there was a home game during football season (I was in SEC country, and I’m still scared), I took great comfort in my friends and confidants, Pizza Rolls. Good God those things were heavenly. Also, terrible for you. I ate a lot of Pizza Rolls during that time. Do I regret it? A little bit. Would I have traded them for real-live human friends? …Probably.
My only thoughts on Hot Pockets are eloquently summed up by Jim Gaffigan:
“I was looking at a box of hot pockets and they have a warning on the side. It’s like ‘Warning! You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you’re drunk or heading home to a trailer! You hillbilly! Enjoy the next NASCAR event!'”
Sidenote: When I relocated, I was told by my new boss to pick a favorite NASCAR driver, so I would have something to talk to my new coworkers about. I politely declined.
My general thoughts on John Mayer are as follows: His music used to be super catchy and feel-good, and then it got kinda sad and depressing, and then he tried too hard to be bluesy, and now he’s kind of an ass-hat. I ignored his public persona for a long time, and continued to buy his music, but these days I really struggle to give him my money on iTunes. Which is a shame because I’ve been seeing him in concert in Atlanta since before his first album came out. Oh well.
I read this quote in Real Simple magazine last night as I was plugging away on the elliptical and trying to ignore the fact that the gym owner’s wife put Beastly on full blast on one of the shared TVs that is normally muted. I guess her husband owns the place so she can do whatever she wants, but, it was super distracting!
“Be faithful to your own taste because nothing you really like is ever out of style.” – Billy Baldwin (no, not the one you’re thinking of)
I’m always afraid to take chances in home decor, because I’m afraid that people will think I’m dumb or lame or have terrible taste in general. Sometimes I make misguided attempts, and am laughed at by everyone I know, like the time I did this on my living room bookshelves:
I let this sit for about a month before I admitted that it looked silly and turned my books back around…at which point every single person that came over told me how glad they were that I “made it right.” Thanks for the support, Judgy McJudgersons.
Then I saw a super cool painting at Cost Plus World Market that I refused to pay $129 for and determined that I could recreate it with some nerd tools (a compass, a t-square, some chardonnay and some patience). I’ll do a more in-depth tutorial on this later, but here are the results:
*Mine is on the left…obviously.*
I used colors that were already incorporated in my decor, so it would flow with things I already owned. Plus I had a pretty big blank wall that I needed to fill. I worried that it was too abrasive, too graphic, too paint-by-numbers, but I’ve actually gotten a ton of compliments on it! Now I wish that I had bought the longer canvas, because painting is fun and the wall still looks pretty empty.
I guess the point is not to be afraid to take chances with your decor, because if you love it, who cares if other people don’t? You’re the one that has to live with it everyday. And if you’re cool with it, then that’s all that matters.