An Embarrassment in Paris

In a couple of weeks, hubs and I will be trekking all the way to Europe with two of our bestest friends (note: they are not dating each other, they’re more like our children), and although I am crazy excited about the trip, I am having A LOT of pre-travel anxiety.  Every night is a different kind of nightmare:

  • I left for Europe 2 weeks too early
  • I went to the wrong city first
  • I forgot my passport, which wasn’t a problem getting INTO the continent, but now they won’t let me out
  • I forgot a suitcase and clothing of any kind
  • I neglected to pack until the day of, and then it took me 12 hours to fill my bag, one article of clothing at a time

No dreams about walking the streets of Paris naked…yet.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few months envisioning the most important part of the trip: what to wear.  Specifically, footwear.  I want to look cute, but not look like a tourist.  I want something comfortable without looking like I’m 28-going-on-80.  I want shoes that will keep my feet warm without taking up too much space in my suitcase.  So today at lunch I headed to DSW in a panic, where I found these:

Madden Girl Ecker Booties in Brown...ooh la la!

THEY ARE THE COMFIEST SHOES I HAVE EVER TRIED ON.  The top of these babies is padded like you would not believe.  The sole is flat enough to (hopefully) sustain hours of wandering on cobblestone streets.  They aren’t even fugly!  They’re not my typical style, but I’ll sacrifice some of my identity for super comfy kicks.  Maybe they’re even a little bit Katniss goes to Paris?  …maybe.

I am so relieved to have found something legit.  Best part?  Only $32.  Holla!

The boys have been under strict instructions for the past few months to find shoes that do not scream “I AM AN AMERICAN, PLEASE PICK MY POCKET!”  So less of this:

And more of this:

It’s been really hard for them.  But I think we’re all going to be okay.  Just don’t tell hubs that Kate Middleton wears big fat American running shoes when she plays field hockey.  He’ll never forgive me for making him wear Converse.

Three cheers for culturally appropriate leisure shoes!

Dogs Make Famous People More Likeable

Dogs have a way of making their owners more likeable.  If someone cuts me off in traffic, but they have an adorable dog in their backseat, I won’t contemplate flipping them off, but I will contemplate telling them to slow down.  A coworker that I previously couldn’t stand told me that he fosters rescue dogs, and now we have something in common that makes me despise him less.  Although the coworker who breeds pitbulls and doesn’t believe in neutering, well…we have different views on animals.

Here are a bunch of famous people whose interactions with their pups make me like them more.

Jessica Simpson (RIP Daisy!):

Ryan Gosling:

Kate Middleton:

Jennifer Aniston:

Barack Obama:

But everybody has their limits.  Even me.

Kate Middleton Ruins My Sidewalk, Plus A Puppy Update

I had a dream the other night that Kate Middleton was my sister-in-law (which would make me royalty, and also, British) and she kept having the sidewalk in front of my house demolished because it “wasn’t green”.

I realize that it is useless to read about other people’s dreams, because they aren’t real and therefore don’t matter at all.  But this one was too funny not to write down.

Foster puppy update: Fiona settled in nicely last night.  She played hard with Buster, and they took turns passive-aggressively stealing each other’s rawhides.  I put her in a crate in the kitchen to sleep and she didn’t make a peep all night, OR have an accident.  She is just awesome.  But for those of you concerned, I am not hoping to keep her.  It’s temporarily fun, but I think that Buster enjoys being the only dog in our house.  He’s been extra clingy since Fiona’s arrival.

If you’re interested in learning more about Fiona, click here.  And then apply to adopt her.  You know you want to.

Why Do You Hate Me So Much, Kate Middleton?

Kate Middleton doesn’t get out much, but when she does, she always looks impeccably put together.  She’s very pretty, not in a drop-dead-gorgeous-I-wish-I-had-your-face kind of way, but in a that-girl-who-used-to-babysit-us-when-our-parents-went-out-to-dinner-was-always-really-nice-looking kind of way.  She’s not cutting edge in the fashion sense, but she makes simple, well-made clothes look fancy and polished, which is not always easy to do.  The world could use more crew-neck sheath dresses (hint hint, Kardashians!).  Here are some of my favorite Kate ensembles, William included, as necessary.

THIS. COAT.  By Alexander McQueen, meaning it will never ever ever make its way into my closet.  ALSO.  Look at her face.  She’s the Jimmy Fallon of the royal family.  Or maybe she was sneezing, I don’t know.  Do princesses have allergies?

Who makes a military-inspired jacket and a BERET work the way she does?  WHO?!?  Nobody.  And look at her: even she knows this is true.

I love this plungey purple dress that Kate wore during their tour in Canada, but what I mostly love is the way she’s looking at William…probably because he’s sans tie and sans the first few buttons of his shirt.  Hubba hubba.

This one is a fave, not because of her outfit, but because of her bag.  LOOK AT THAT THING!  I’m obsessed.  For those of you who think Kate only shops at places like Zara and Topshop, let me burst your bubble.  This is a Mulberry Polly Push Lock bag, and it retails for $1300.  Also, her hair.  Looking at her hair, and then considering my own, it’s like, Why bother? You’ll never have hair as nice as Kate Middleton’s.  None of us will.  Except for my friend Amanda who lives in Miami with her exotic South American husband.  What are the rest of us even doing with our lives?!?

Even when Kate is walking on the beach wearing rain boots, she looks chic.  I don’t look this polished when I go to work, on a good day.  Not even in this ballpark.  And when I wear rain boots, they have sweatpants stuffed into them, and I have a hood pulled over my head and I’m probably bra-less because I just rolled out of bed at 6:00 a.m. and Buster had to pee and it’s raining and we don’t have a fenced in backyard so I had to suck it up and walk him outside. Like all the other peasants.

I, as a former college crew team member, would also like to point out that people who row do not wear these kinds of clothes.  Rowing outfits involve lots of spandex, really thick socks, nasty river water and regret.  Not adorable boat shoes and dangly earrings and skinny jeans that fit like a glove.  There aren’t any princes either.  Unless you row at Oxford, probably.

Lastly, this is Kate today in England at the opening of a children’s hospital.  There’s been a lot of speculation lately that Kate is pregnant, but in my totally non-professional opinion, there is NO WAY that she has a baby inside of her.  Kate is skinny as all get out, and if her eggo was preggo, she would not look like she does in this dress.

In conclusion, I really, truly appreciate how Kate has brought some sophistication into the modern, tabloid-driven world of fashion.  I just wish that in doing so, she didn’t make me feel so bad about myself.

The End.