men are afraid of eyebrows: an observation

you know what i have noticed? hubs is terrified of me changing my eyebrows in any way shape or form. my eyebrows are normal: not too thin, not too bushy, nothing special going on between my eyes and my hairline. but twice in recent history has hubs shown concern for any sort of eyebrow experimentation. two earth-shattering conversations, for your reading pleasure.

justtthebrowsandthedog

[on filling in my eyebrows with eyebrow filler or whatever it’s called]

me: sara colored in her eyebrows, and they look really good, i was thinking-
hubs: please don’t do that to your eyebrows.
me: what, fill them in?
hubs: yeah.
me: do you even know what that means?
hubs: no, but please don’t do it.
me: i wouldn’t make them like crazy black caterpillar eyebrows or anything, i just-
hubs: PLEASE DON’T.
me: …okay.

[on trimming my eyebrows with scissors, as women do]

me: i think i need to have erin teach me how to trim my eyebrows, they’re not bushy but i’m afraid the hairs are getting too long.
hubs: no your eyebrows are fine.
me: how would you know? you’re a boy.
hubs: you don’t need to trim them, they’re fine the way they are.
me: but what if they’re too lo-
hubs: PLEASE DON’T.
me: …okay.

what i’m realizing now is that it’s probably my mistake for mentioning my eyebrows to my husband in the first place? because he was probably picturing a worst-case-scenario when i brought them up:

crazybrows

or do you think my husband just has this other-worldly sense for when eyebrows need or don’t need work? marriage, am i right?

how to keep pollen off of a screened in porch, and other things

every spring in atlanta, when the pollen descends from the trees and into our lives, we are ostracized from our screened in porch during the time of year when it would be most enjoyable.  so this year, we took matters into our own hands and (desperately) tried to keep the effing pollen out of our porch.  behold!

pollenscreenedinporch

we bought a $10 roll of clear poly (not quite clear, as you can see) and stapled all the way around our porch to create a barrier against the pollen.  we also used masking tape to keep the seams sealed.  and you know what?  so far so good!  I think this keeps the pollen at bay! 

though, we do not exactly enjoy the porch while it is dressed up as one of dexter’s victims, and it is creepy as hell to sit at the table and eat dinner while surrounded by plastic.  but at least we won’t have to clean up the pollen before we can use the porch again.

pollenscreenedinporch2

and we look super classy, our neighbors are not skeeved out at all.

though after we had done this, we realized we could have just removed all of the cushion before the pollen came, and then rinsed the pollen away once it was done.  oh well.

some other things we’ve done around the house in the name of spring and general getting stuff done-ness:

i bought this mirror a few months ago at goodwill.  it was bright gold.  and hubs took one look at it and declared that it was “the penis mirror”.  and i showed it to my sisters, and they may have agreed with him.  but that didn’t keep me from painting it blue and hanging it in our upstairs hallway.

inappropriatemirror

[those are my painting clothes, I promise I don’t go out in public wearing soccer shorts.  also, full disclosure, I have never played soccer.]

the print is new and by an artist named elizabeth mayville.  I found it on etsy and I am obsessed.  the table is a homegoods find, and now that I look at it, I feel like it’s super off-white and needs to be painted…maybe next year.

and YES that is a futon in the next room don’t judge me!

one last major crazy thing I took care of on sunday night was painting our stairwell!  it is, mmmmm, 95% done?  but the last 5% is going to be the WORST.  uggggghhhhhhh.

paintedstairwell

i’m sorry the light is so bad but hubs turned off the lights downstairs right as i took this picture.

painting the stairwell finally connects the downstairs, which has been painted since before we moved in 2.5 years ago, and the upstairs hallway that I painted recently.  except, you know, now I have to figure out how to finish it without getting paint on the ceiling.  because I have NO IDEA what color paint goes on the ceiling in our house, so i have nothing to touch it up with.  god help us.

i will say that painting with an extender pole filled me with so much glee.  to be able to reach a point on the wall that was 3 times my height was strangely exhilirating.  okay so hubs may have done the VERY tippy top of the wall, but 90% of the 95% of the stairwell was done by yours truly.

throughout these home improvement endeavors, buster has continued to have no physical boundaries whatsoever.  he also needs a haircut so very badly.

bustergreenchair

finally, i cannot conclude this post without showing you the most amazing thing that happened at an irish pub this weekend.  my good friend (we will call her melamine) looked into her beer and saw someone winking back at her.

smilingbeer

most people see jesus in their food.  we get creepy smiley faces.  sounds about right.

new to me tunes that you should listen to also

my interest in new music tends to ebb and flow, and right now it is flowing, baby! here are my current favorite jams. you’re welcome!

it’s been a while since i heard a song (that i’m not embarrassed by) that makes me want to dance. sia is one of my all-time faves (she wrote rihanna’s “diamonds” and that “i am ti-taaaaay-neeeee-ummmmmmm” song that was everywhere last year but is not super famous for her own stuff) and this (bring night) is a great jam that i think you should listen to and then get up and dance along with RIGHT NOW.

lorelai by fleet foxes. it makes me want to have a baby so i can bounce it on my knee to the beat of this song, do i have problems?

i like this song a lot more than i should, considering that it is by fall out boy. but the chorus is stupid catchy (“i’m on fiiiiyaaaaa!!!”) and i’m loving it.

um have you heard of lindsey sterling yet? she is a super cute pop violinist who generously employs dubstep in her songs. i’m borderline obsessed. especially by her cover of radioactive with a capella group pentatonix. i die.

if you listen to alt nation on XM, which i only get to do when i ride in hubs’s truck (lifeissohardiknow), you have probably heard neighbourhood’s “sweater weather” one million times already. but that doesn’t make it any less catchy, yet.

if you’re in the mood to curl up in a ball under your desk and have a good cry, this cover of radiohead’s “paranoid andriod” by sia (see above) is gorgeous.

and lastly, this song has so many things in it that i hate (80’s drums, synth man voices in the chorus, a weird hipster title – “everything is embarrassing” see?) but somehow it all gels together and i can’t stop listening to it.

i was just going to talk about bring night and then i got carried away. i just want everyone i know and don’t know to love these songs as much as i do.

i’m sorry.