from that thrift shop down the road

sometimes the work week is just so much work, am i right?

today i escaped my apathy and boredom at my desk and headed to my favorite thrift shop, which is more consignment-meets-hoarders, and is one of those places where you take really shallow breaths to avoid inhaling centuries of dust and mildew and god knows what else.  it is awesome.  i was not in the mood to spend money today, which is usually the case, which makes me wonder why i ever go shopping at all?  but oh, the clothes and the trinkets!

i walked right in the front door and found this black lucite chair for only $28 and the skies parted and the angels sang and even as i thought “where on earth will i put this?” i thought for sure that i had found a priceless treasure.

lucitechair

just to be sure, i sent a picture of the chair to my long distance girlfriend ashley,. who introduced me to said thrift shop, and asked her opinion, assuming she’d be all, hell yeah you go GET you that lucite chair!  but then things took a turn.

me: how badly do i need this $28 lucite chair?
ash: uncomfy and sure to look outdated soon enough. i don’t think it’ll be a good investment.

my soul was crushed, until i received her followup text.

ash: my husband would say that it looks like it belongs in a Miami hotel room where people snort cocaine.

with that, i slowly backed away from the chair, strangely validated in my rejection of the once hopeful seat.  we hardly knew ye, lucite chair!

i spent the rest of my tour taking pictures of ridiculous things and sending them to hubs with messages like “this monkey lamp is worth $100 right?” and “how much do you love this poster of a lady walking two afghans?”  he knows better than to protest too much, so i left the thrift shop empty-handed on my own accord.

here is a glimpse of some of the other treasures that i passed up.

stroh’s is probably the worst beer in the world.  there were 12 of these mugs.  hubs drinks stroh’s sometimes if it’s the $1 beer special at our local restaurant that allows you to bring your dog.  needless to say, we eat there a lot.

strohsmug

upon further relfection, i seriously regret not getting these tiny busts of unknown (to me) Swiss composers which also wind up and play music!  shoulda gone back for these babies.

musicboxbusts

the illustrious monkey lamp.

monkeylamp

a plaque that i 100% seriously wanted to buy for my father-in-law, though i was uncomfortable with the reference to an “old” fisherman.  nobody wants to be called old, right?  but i think my mother-in-law would have approved of the reference to his “best catch”.

fishplaque

and the afghan poster, which is quite possibly the most hideous thing i’ve ever seen at a thrift store.  we both know that’s not true.  but it left quite the impression on me.

afghans

i mean, right?

this concludes our thrift store adventures for today, and possibly ever.  it was exhausting wading through all of the W.S.S.A. (Worthless Shit that Sits Around ™).  until next time!

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there is no “i” in yoga

it’s true, that there is no “i” in yoga…but there is a “yo”, and i would like you to remember that.

a few years ago, when hubs and i lived in an apartment in another part of the city, we belonged to a super awesome crunch fitness that had the best fitness classes and was never more than 20% full of people working out…which is probably why it closed its doors shortly after we joined.

at the time i would go to yoga at crunch maybe twice a week.  it was a big room, everybody could spread out, and it was quiet and peaceful, but also a good workout.  when they transferred our memberships to a nearby la fitness without asking us, i came to find that the yoga classes were packed all the time.  by the way, so were the treadmills.  there were 30 treadmills (not exaggerating) and they were all taken, all the time.

when we bought our house we joined a nearby 24 hour fitness, which has no classes.  i miss my crunch yoga classes.  one of our neighbors urged me to look into the class schedule at our local rec center, and finally, this spring, i signed up for rec center yoga.  i was stoked.

this yoga class is very different from the other ones i have taken.  i am the youngest person by a solid 20 years.  the room is tiny, has low ceilings, and does not provide a lot of space between you and your yogi neighbor.  the instructor is bubbly and talkative, and people ask questions.  oh they ask questions!

“what is this supposed to feel like in my hip joint?” “i have weak knees, do you think i can do this pose?” “can you personally tailor this class to my needs and my needs only?” (i made that last one up.) we spend probably 30% of the class talking about yoga, and not actually doing any yoga.

interactive yoga seems kind of like the opposite of how yoga is supposed to go, right?

the first 3 classes were normal, and i could tell i was becoming much more flexible, especially in my hamstrings.  i have also been complimented by the instructor on my “very open hips”, so take that for what you will.

but then in week 4, our instructor surprised us with partner poses.  partner poses, i tell you!  putting your body on another stranger’s body!  my worst nightmare, probably!

that week, a stranger got very hands-on with my lower-lower back.  on week 5, i had to put my bare feet against the bare feet of a sheepish but sweaty older man.  then we held hands and pulled our faces towards each other.  week 6 involved putting my hands on someone else’s lower back and gently rocking their body back and forth.  YOU GUYS.  I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS.

week 7 offer a sweet respite from stranger touching, and i was thrilled.  but this week, week 8, when it came time to get dressed for yoga, i just didn’t have it in me to sit in a dark room and touch somebody else.  could not do it again.

so i stayed home and vowed to do a yoga video alone in my basement.  oh, my beloved yoga video.  the one that asks that you “soften the belly” and “breath into your kidneys” and “relax your palate”.  i will take you over creepy and uncomfortable partners yoga any day.

though sometimes it is difficult to concentrate on the video, thanks to a certain someone who does a very convincing downward-facing dog.

busteryoga