One Ear Down, One To Go

While trying to listen to Christmas music while it’s still acceptable, my left headphone electrocuted me, and now it only makes a sssshhhhhhhh sound when it’s supposed to be filling the left side of my head with the joyous sounds of not-Aaron-Neville holiday tunes.  I still have the right ear, but, sitting at my cube, if people walk up to talk to me, they’re facing my right side, and if I can’t hear them coming then they might sneak up on me and catch me insert embarrassing activity here.

This will be pretty non-traditional year for my family.  Midday snacks at my dad’s on Christmas Eve, evening Mexican fiesta at my sister’s house, brunch at my mom’s on Christmas morning, a 4 hour car ride to my in-law’s house, and then Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Day.  I just realized…will there be stuffing?  Where will it come from?  Maybe I can make…stuffing pancakes on Christmas morning?  This will require some thought.

Update: Stuffing Pancakes DO exist!

Because there are so many kids in my family, we do Secret Santa every year so that we don’t have to buy presents for everyone, because we’re low maintenance like that, and also because we’re all pretty cheap.  I am pretty excited about what I’m giving my Secret Santa this year.  I won’t spoil it here, in case he/she reads this, but here is a clue…

Approximately 2 more hours until I am officially off for the holidays.  I may or may not “forget” my blackberry charger at my desk, so that I am unreachable for the next two weeks.  But probably not.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas or whatever else you might be celebrating this time of year!

Words That I Hate

You know how there are some words that just grate on your soul and make you cringe every time you hear them?  Well, these are mine.  Add this to the collection of things I have issues with (see also: popcorn, snacks in general).

Cream

I can’t be the only one who hates this word, because this commercial for Olay Regenerist that recently used the word “cream” excessively was re-done so that instead of the woman with the weird accent describing the cream, a man’s voice is used every time the word “cream” is mentioned.  I noticed because I dreaded this commercial every time it came on, just for the use of the c-word.  I’m glad somebody else realized this egregious error.

Here’s the original:

And here’s the manly version:

Also see: creamy.  Blech!

Crisp

Crisp.  Did you feel that?  It was me cringing while typing that word.  I feel bad for people named “Crispin”, because if I were single and at a bar and I met someone and he introduced himself as “Crispin”, I would shiver (in a bad way) and walk away.

Bonus points if the words “crisp” and “creamy”, while counterintuitive, are used together to describe something.  Example: “A crisp apple dipped in creamy peanut butter is the perfect after work torture device, because I just used the words crisp and creamy.”  BOOM!

Take a Lunch

Does this bother me because I’m from the South, and we don’t “take a lunch”, we “eat lunch”?  Is “taking a lunch” for rich people?  Is it like osmosis, where looking at a salad makes you feel full?  I really loved watching The Rachel Zoe Project until one episode where she tells her assistant, “I never take a lunch,” because she said “take a lunch”, and also because it made me feel fat and insecure, and I think that it sent a bad message to people who work in offices and watch the clock slowly tick closer to 12:00 minute-by-minute, because we need our munchies!  And when we need them, we don’t take them, we eat them!

Supper

MAKE THIS WORD GO AWAY.  It’s the 21st century.  Is the word “supper” even appropriate anymore?  Is it historically acceptable?  What is supper?  If not lunch, or dinner, then what?!  Can this word please be extinct?

MISTAKE: I just looked it up on dictionary.com, and the definition for “supper” reads: “Any light evening meal, especially one taken late in the evening: an after-the-theater supper.”  TAKEN LATE IN THE EVENING!  AN AFTER-THE-THEATER SUPPER!  It’s like dictionary.com knows my deepest fears, and is exploiting them.

See also: Anything called a Supper Club.  Just say it like it is and call it a bar, people.

What are your least favorite words?

10 Things You Don’t (Want To) Know About Me

Thanks to the very generous yet awfully misguided Squirrel Circus, I have received a blogging award!  I’m supposed to share 7 secrets about myself, but I’m not that secretive, mostly because I have a big mouth, so since my blog is fairly new and mostly read by my friends and my husband (when I make him, out loud, in my presence), I’ll share a few things about me that you probably wouldn’t know otherwise.

1. I was born outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota, in a town called “Coon Rapids”.  That is listed on my birth certificate.  Forever.

2. I have a degenerative autoimmune disease called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis that attacks my thyroid and will eventually render it useless.  Then it will move on to my brain.  Just kidding.  About the brain part.

3. I grew up as the middle of 3 girls (now 4 + a step & a half), so I took on the role of tomboy, since somebody had to.  I had the boy haircut, and I still feel awkwardly boyish when my hair is shorter than chin-length.

4. I was allergic to strawberries as a child, which only caused problems one time, when my parents went on vacation and forgot to tell my grandma about my allergy.  A trip to the clinic and a ginormous needle in the thigh later, and I would never look at a strawberry the same way again.

5. I collected Ninja Turtle action figures.  I still remember the day I got April.  Although Leonardo was (and still is) my favorite.

6. When the Mickey Mouse Club was on, I wanted to legally change my name to “Britney” because I thought “Anne” was super dull, and because Britney on the MMC could do back-handsprings.  Yeah, it turned out to be Britney Spears.

7. I played the trombone in 6th grade band.  I was 2nd chair.  And the only girl.

8. I played volleyball all through high school, where I was obviously the setter, because I’m only 5’4″.  Sometimes my English teacher would come watch our matches, which creeps me out now that I think about it, because we were all underage and wearing spandex.

9. I was the lead singer of my church’s high school praise band.  I KNOW.

10. My original major in college was architecture.  I switched to engineering once I realized that I didn’t want to sleep under a drafting table for another 3 years, not realizing that I would be sleeping under a library table for the next 3 years instead.

I wish I had more exciting fun facts, like that I’m not-so-distantly-related to Kate Middleton, or that I’ve wrestled a baby black bear in the Smokey Mountains (partially true, actually), but alas, this is all I’ve got.  I appreciate my totally unremarkable upbringing.  I’m very lucky to have had it.