You Are Not Craving A Salad

Realtalk: Every time I hear someone say that they are “craving a salad”, I want to punch them in the face.

Who craves a salad?!?  Seriously!  My cravings include things like potato chips, cake with caramel frosting, pad thai, french fries, and various other things that are terrible for you.  In the months leading up to my wedding, when my diet mainly consisted of fruits and vegetables, I dreamed daily of eating Arby’s fries with cheese sauce.  They’re so gross, and yet, I wanted them.  So.  Freaking.  Badly.

So when I hear one of my health-conscious friends say, “Do you want to go to XYZ for lunch?  I’m really craving a salad today,” I want to be like, HOLD THE PHONE, CRAZY LADY!

Do women say these things to help them convince themselves that they want a salad, and therefore it won’t feel like a chore when they make the healthy choice to eat one?  Or are there really people out there who think, yes, I am craving some flavorless lettuce topped with cold, sterile veggies, cheese that’s been processed into an oblivion, maybe some meat grilled to bland perfection, and dressing made of God knows what, which will be on the side, of course!

No.  Don’t get me wrong, I LIKE salad.  I think it’s very healthy to incorporate it into your daily meal routine.  And I will often eat one, because it’s the right thing to do.  But to say I’m ever craving one is like saying that Blake Lively is craving Ryan Reynolds.  It’s just not true, because you know she would rather have Leonardo DiCaprio.  And I would rather have nachos.

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2 thoughts on “You Are Not Craving A Salad

  1. THANK YOU FOR THIS! I am pregnant, and if I have to hear one more pregnant celebrity say how much she is “craving” leafy greens and asparagus I am going to throw my TV out the window.

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