This conversation just happened:
Me: Oooh! Look at these wedges. They’re only…$228.
Hubs: You can have 5 pairs of those shoes.
Me: Wait, five pairs?
Hubs: Yeah, if you let me buy a generator for tailgating.
Me: I could adopt 5 puppies for that amount of money!
Hubs: No puppies.
Me: What about these boots?
Hubs: How much?
Hubs: You can get them for your birthday.
Me: Wait – that was hasty. I want to change my order.
Hubs: To what?
Me: A Marc Jacobs purse.
Hubs: You can have anything that’s less than $325.
Hubs: Anything that’s not breathing or needs to be fed.
Me: …Right now?
Hubs: EVER. It can’t be breathing or need to be fed, ever. If it was previously alive and is now dead, like the leather on those boots, then you can have it.
Me: (long pause…) You’re no fun.
If you want to help save some super cute cocker spaniel/hound puppies, go to http://www.angelsrescue.org and donate!